Scene I
[Scene:a small village just outside of Kesmith,
Atlantis. Jerzy, Micheel, Angelifestimarne and
Frepth are present, standing in an oval arguing
about the proficiency of testing lab rats under the
sea for jaramitis, a rare Atlantian skin disease.
No one is winning.]
Micheel:(to Angelifestimarne)You are wrong. You have no guts.
You are wrong. There is no escape. You will be
convicted, ha ha ha. One day, they will come. They
will all come.(To Frepth)Will you slaughter him?
Will you? Please! Pleeeeeeeez?
Jerzy:(To Frepth)Well, answer him, because, 'cause if you don't,
then, then he will have to be walked, and then, then
you k-know what? Yeah, I bet you do, cuddley-wuddley
slipper-slapper tart. Uh-huh. It's the glove-making.
Yeah, I bet you look forward to that, you tart. Tart. Tart.
Tart. Tart.
Angelifestimarne:(To all)This is getting ridiculous, you haven't
even salvaged your point, yet, yet, wet.
Besides, I am no longer regarding myself a
Festimarne. Dad, it's too late. The arm is
off. No more fingers. No more toes. No
more tongue. NO MORE FESTIMARNE.
A crossing guard i shall no longer be, today
I am a philosopher. Thanks, ayway.
Jerzy:Tart. Tart. Tart. Tart. Tart. Tart.
Micheel:well, well, well
Micheel:Who cannot balance the question in any form?
Angel:There is a certain amount of tact, involved of course,
not added on.
Frepth:(spitting)Here, before you, you, lies my beloved, you,
before, you my beloved, loved you, you my loved be
for your love, my love, your bee is more than for your
lore, you, you, your beloved, be, loved for your more
you whore, your more than a whore, your a lot more,
than a beloved whore, you, you, you
Jerzy:Tart.
Enter Si
Si:I bring awkward, yet seemingly humorous news. The king is
dead.
Jerzy:Dead?
Frepth:Dead?
Jerzy:Dead.
Frepth:Oh.
Si:Oh.
Angel:The death is so, so, s o, so so sudden. What
will come of this!!!
Micheel:Yes, they will come.
Jerzy:No!!!!! no!!!!
Enter Si
Si:I bring humorous, yet awfully ironic bidding. The
king is very ill.
Jerzy:Is it serious?<
Frepth:Serious?
Angel:No, no, no, no, no, harmless.
Frepth:Oh.
Jerzy:Well, then, state your matter.
Si:Yes, y-yes, sir.
Jerzy:I will, politely, ask, everyone to leave.
Exit Jerzy
Frepth:Is he gone?
Si:I believe so. Yes, he is excavagahged.
Micheel:Well, then, how do we do something, a little...
Angel:more permanent?
Frepth:No, no, no. We need something better
Si:I've got it.
[Si whispers into Frepth's nose and they walk out holding
ring fingers. Angel, Jerzy and Micheel also walk out,
quietly, but not saying more than a word, to the left.]
Scene II
[Scene:a four walled cumberland house in navy
blue, my wheelchair. Enter Si, Kirk, Frepth.]
SiFrepth, this is Kirk.
Kirk:He moves his hands slowly, then lifts his chin,
and speaks.
Frepth:And it's a very good one at that, but why
don't you put him back in your pocket and save him
for later.
SiGood idea.
Frepth:Wonderful.
Abdul:Of course, it is perfect.
Si:Places Kirk back into the region known as his pocket.
Abdul:Much, much better.
Si:How did you get here?
Abdul:You let me in yesterday.
Si:And you did not leave?
Abdul:I didn't know that I was supposed to.
Si:So you stayed.
Abdul:Do you want me to leave now?
Si:If you wouldn't mind.
Abdul:No, this really isn't a problem.
Si Okay, then good-bye.
Abdul:You forgot your colon.
Si:My what?
Abdul:In the sentence before last, you forgot
your colon after your name.
Si:What are you talking about? Why are you
still here?
Abdul:Your colon. You forgot your colon.
It just bigs me. Sorry.
Si:I'm not sure that I understand your angle, man.
Abdul:Well, forget it.
Si Good-bye.
Abdul:You did it again!
Si:Gimme a break.
Abdul:I can't believe you just did it again. You
are such a fool. I'm outta here. No more will I be
treated as the fool.
Si:Well, then good luck.
Exit Abdul, frustrated
Frepth:So, now, where were we?
Si:Okay, so you put the cat in the box with
a sealed bottle of poison.
Frepth:Right! Then we unleash some sort
of chemical into the sealed box which is designed
to creat a fifty-fifty chance that it will break the
vile of poison which will instantly kill the cat.
What do you think will happen?
Si:I think the cat is gonna get it.
Frepth:So you think the cat will die?
Si:Yes, why is that important?
Frepth:Because, my friend, how can you
know the cat will die?
Si:Well I don't know the cat will die.
(pause)It is just a guess.
Frepth:that is a good response, because
the answer is, quite extraordinarily that the cat will die-
Si:See, I told you!
Frepth:And the cat will not die.
Si:Huh?
Frepth:The answer is both.
Si:How can it be both? The cat is either dead or
he is not dead.
Frepth:That's what I said. He's dead and
he's not dead.
Si:You said and, I said or. There is a difference.
Frepth:What?
Si:You said and, I said or. There is a difference.
Frepth:Oh that, that's just trivial.
Si:No, I don't think so.
Frepth:Follow me. Until what has actually taken place
in the sealed box has been observed, both realms of
possibility exist. This was a real experiment. I read
about it. The existence of the cat depends solely on
observation.
Si:What if it meows?
Frepth:What?
Si:The cat, what if it meows?
Frepth:What does that have to do with anything?
Si:I...I don't know, just answer the question.
Frepth:Well, then we know it is alive. Observing does not only
mean seeing. It can mean hearing as well.
Si:So, now the cat is alive and he is dead, right?
Frepth:Right.
Si:So where are these two realms of existence?
Frepth:What do you mean?
Si:The two realms. The one where the cat is alive and the one
where the cat is dead. These two separate entities. Where
are they?
Frepth:Oh, I suppose somewhere out in limbo
of space and time as we know it.
Si:Limbo? Give me a break.
Frepth:Why? Is that so unbelievable?
Si:Why, now that you ask, yes!
Frepth:How-
Si:Yes! Yes! Yes! YES!!! YES!!! YES!!! YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Y!E!S!
Frepth:How did you do that?
Si:Do what?
Frepth:Nevermind. What were we talking about?
Si:Hmm....
Frepth:Wait, wasn't it witchcraft?
Si:No, no, no. It was the harvest.
Frepth:Oh yes, that's right. The harvest should
be indeed splendid this year.
Si:Quite.
[stage direction:The remaining lines should be spoken
quieter as the orchestra builds to a climax.]
Frepth:The carrots and peppers are looking fine-
Si:And it's only just the beginning!
Frepth:Yes! Indeed it is.
Si:Beets are round red-like things, I thought you knew that.
Frepth:We grow them the same every year, why would
you wonder about that? It's always the same. Seeds,
water, sun, etc..
Si:Well, I don't know about fun, but definitely work. I
agree with you there.
Frepth:Bears in this part of the forest? There must be(cough) a
mistake.
Si:A cake? For me? Goody, goody, goody, goody!!!
Frepth:I beg your pardon?
Si:Yes, it is a lovely garden.
The orchestra finishes its climb.
Both characters begin reciting the play
once more, this time, however, they change
roles with the character on the right.
